quotes Elisquared likes


"Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself."— John Green

3.29.2017

BLOG TOUR --- Hearts & Other Body Parts by Ira Bloom [Review + Giveaway]

Title: Hearts & Other Body Parts
Author(s): Ira Bloom
Edition: Hardcover, eBook, audiobook, 352 pages
Publisher: Scholastic Press
Publication Date: March 28, 2017
Source: Rockstar Book Tours
Buy: Amazon Barnes & Noble - iBooks - Book Depository













Tour Schedule


Week One:
3/20/2017 - Adventures of a Book Junkie - Interview
3/21/2017 - Here's to Happy Endings - Review
3/22/2017 - BookHounds YA - Guest Post
3/23/2017 - YA Books Central - Review
3/24/2017 - Tales of the Ravenous Reader - Interview


Week Two:
3/27/2017 - Beauty and the Bookshelf - Review
3/28/2017 - Novel Novice - Guest Post
3/29/2017 - Eli to the nth - Review (ME!)
3/30/2017 - The Cover Contessa - Interview
3/31/2017 - Emily Reads Everything - Review



The Summary


A novel of love and monsters.

Sisters Esme, Katy, and Ronnie are smart, talented, and gorgeous, and better yet . . . all three are witches. They have high school wired until the arrival of two new students. The first is Norman, who is almost eight feet tall and appears to be constructed of bolts and mismatched body parts. Despite his intimidating looks, Esme finds herself strangely -- almost romantically -- drawn to both his oversized brain and oversized heart.

The second new arrival is Zack, an impossibly handsome late transfer from the UK who has the girls at school instantly mesmerized. Soon even sensible Esme has forgotten Norman, and all three sisters are in a flat-out hex war to win Zack. But while the magic is flying, only Norman seems to notice that students who wander off alone with Zack end up with crushed bones and memory loss. Or worse, missing entirely.

Hearts & Other Body Parts is a wickedly addictive novel about love, monsters, and loyalty. And oh yeah, a Japanese corpse-eating demon cat. 

My Opinion

Hearts & Other Body Parts may seem on the outside to be a serious supernatural tale, but crack open the pages and you have a humorous mash-up (dare I say, a monster mash) of classic horror creatures set in the scariest place of all: high school.

Witches, vampires, and Franklin Norman Stein (also known as Frank N. Stein...get it?) come together to form one crazy journey through the trials of the heart, and the trials of attempted murder.  Now, that may sound like the serious supernatural tale, but with the story chock full of campy humor, the death doesn't seem so serious.

There's the classic love...quadrilateral...between the three Silver sisters, and the second newest boy at school, the dashing Zach Kallas.  But little do the sisters know Zach is placing them under his thrall, priming them to be the next meal for himself and his Master.  Yeah, those pesky vampires, always trying to suck your blood.  But Norm is not just a mild-mannered giant, and so the story goes.

Of course, there is the problem of the corpse-eating cat, but you'll have to discover that for yourself.

Delightfully cheestastic, but with a heart-filled plot, Hearts & Other Body Parts is a fun, hilarious read, sure to brighten up your day with hexes, murder, and the occasional demon cat.

Final Rating


About the Author
I grew up in Annapolis Maryland. My mother is an artist and my father was a judge on the Maryland Court of Special Appeals.

I studied English Literature at the University of Maryland, College Park. I also have some background in Eastern religions. After college I moved to Japan, where I taught ESL. I married a beautiful Japanese woman named Yasuko, moved to LA and taught junior high school English, ESL, and Japanese for the Los Angeles Unified School district. I am conversational in Japanese, but by no means consider myself fluent. 


After serving my debt to society in LA Unified, I went into the fashion business with my wife, who is a very talented fashion designer and is likely to read this, so I can’t say enough good things about her. We eventually branched into the vintage kimono business. I probably know more about Japanese textiles than any straight white man you’re likely to encounter. I’ve been writing humor for Funny Times since 2010. I currently live in West Sonoma County with my family and an assortment of furry beasts.

Website | Twitter  Facebook | Goodreads |

Giveaway

3 winners will receive a finished copy of Hearts & Other Body Parts.
US Only.

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